You've been browsing through the personals, and found a personal ad, or better yet a couple of ads you really like. Now what? You can't just send a response that say's "I liked your ad, please write back to me". You need to get the interest of the person that wrote the ad interested in getting to know you better.

First make a list of the things you liked about the ad. What are your common interests?What was said that really interested you? If you can't find anything more than the picture, forget it, you probably don't have anything in common anyway.

Then make a list of the things about yourself that you think the other person might like.

Now you need to sit down, and pre-write your response. State why you liked his/her ad. Tell her/him about yourself, what your interests are, and why you think the two of you might hit it off. Offer to send your picture. Take a little time with this, it might mean the beginning of a good relationship. If your response doesn't convey the right message, you may not hear back from him/her. Remember that you probably aren't the only one that liked her/his ad. Your response may be one of many. Make what you have to say stand out.Give him/her something to write back about. Ask questions, offer to answer questions. This is your chance to get to know more about each other.

If you don't get a reply, you might want to revise your response and try again. It may be that your first response didn't even make it to the person. That does happen. Or it may be that you just didn't express yourself properly. If your second attempt fails, shrug it off, and start browsing again. Above all don't take it personally. Keep trying, and keep learning. As with anything else, this takes practice. Practice expressing yourself, practice reading the true messages in the ads, and practice getting to know yourself.

If you do get a reply, keep the conversation going, but don't get too long winded at first. Talk about what you are keeping active with. Ask about her/his activities. Start building the friendship.

This can be a very exciting period, but don't get your hopes up too much. Quite often you can be sending messages back and forth on a regular basis, and then it will suddenly stop. It's all part of the game. Don't be overly disappointed, just start over again. Relationships through the personals are the same as any other relationship. Things can be going great, and then you start drifting apart. It's all part of life, and isn't a reflection on you, it's just a normal part of life.

I should mention here that e-mail does sometimes get lost. If you have been getting regular replies, and all of a sudden you don't get one, send another message. This happened to me once, and I would have lost a good friend if I hadn't sent another message.

Sooner or later you will want to meet in person. How, and when will be up to the two of you. Try to get a feeling from the other person about when they are ready. Don't push, but be willing to make yourself available. Maybe offer your phone number, with a suggestion that he/she can call if they feel ready.

The main thing is to respond to the ads you like. Don't let the fear of rejection stop you. You will start to feel more comfortable once you've had a little success. It just takes a little perseverance, and a willingness to learn. Remember that they placed the ads with the hope of getting responses. You aren't intruding on them.